Tritonstink   Leave a comment




There’s a place at UCSD of which I’ve grown fond
Where it’s tranquil and quiet and still
When something is urgent it’s to there I abscond
It’s peaceful up there on a hill

The campus is busy, the sidewalk is crowded
And I need some time unescorted
Where I can focus, where my mind is unclouded
So this mission does not get aborted

I live off-campus, a bus ride away
Plus a nice lovely walk to the station
When I’m at school, it is better to stay
When the objective is swift defecation

But where do you go, when you are stuck
at school and can’t quickly escape?
It might be distressing, you might say “Oh fuck”
It looks like you’re in really bad shape.

I can’t go back home, I have class in an hour
And now I really have to go
The bathrooms here, they all smell sour
Would you take a dump there? Hell no.

At most bathrooms, the floor is wet and pissed on
The stalls are graffiti’d, repulsive
You don’t know what types of thing might exist on
The seat, makes my stomach’s convulsive

But there is a place, where it’s clean and it’s quiet
Where I have never been troubled
I know that you might want to try it
Where the soap comes out cleanly and bubbled

This special  place is a place lost in time
It lacks even one auto-sensor
There isn’t any filth, muck, or slime
On the seat, floor, or soap dispenser

The paper towels crank out, inch by inch
Not by hand wave, you just pull a lever
I come to this place when I’m in a pinch
Can’t fathom going elsewhere, not ever

You flush the toilet like you would at home
There’s no ominous red blinking light
The sink and the mirror, they sparkle like chrome
For a public bathroom, it just feels so right

Flush, soap, or towels, you even can count
On a manually functioning faucet
So you always can use just the right amount
Hot or cold, grab a towel, and then toss it

All these great things, and it’s quite secluded
There never are people around
So crucial it is, that the crowds are eluded
And I’m not bothered by a sound

Where is this place
Where it’s easy to dump
Where you can poop without having to care?
I’ll keep it a secret
‘Cause I’m not a chump
And I never want to see you there.

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Posted January 29, 2010 by Wada in Uncategorized

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