How I Do Not Want To Die   Leave a comment

I’m not that picky- I’m not demanding triple digits, a warm bed, or “natural causes”, but I can think of one way in particular I do not want to go.

This is an asthma inhaler.

But it’s not that simple. I do not think it is possible for me to die of an asthma attack. I’ve had so many over the years, and I’ve learned that if I stay calm, breathe deep, be patient, and tough it out, it’ll eventually pass. People who die of asthma attacks die because they panic and make it worse until they suffocate, having probably at least doubled the attack’s original potency.

How I don’t want to die involves an asthma attack and eventual suffocation, but there’s more to it. Asthma inhalers all come with a cap that covers the mouthpiece when you’re not using it so dirt and foreign objects don’t get up in there. I always misplace my cap and end up washing the case when it gets dirty. Dirt could be the least of my problems.

Asthma inhalers are aerosol sprays that project a concentrated liquid into your lungs at a high velocity. If a small sheet of thin plastic (perhaps a candy wrapper) were to be lodged in the mouthpiece and went undetected as I raised the mouthpiece to my lips to inhale the medicine, that sheet of plastic would be launched into my trachea blocking my airway. If I’m unable to spit it up myself and am all alone, well, I’m gonna be gone pretty quickly; death by candy wrapper.

That might be better than if someone comes across me while I have the wrapper blocking my airway. That person would see me writhing, unable to breathe, with an inhaler on the floor nearby. An intelligent person would assume I was having an attack and try to force feed me a dose of my inhaler, lodging the wrapper deeper into my throat, all but ensuring my death.

An assassin might be able to pull this trick off without anyone knowing.

And that is how I do not want to die.


Posted July 24, 2010 by Wada in Uncategorized

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